'Beauty could be defined simply as "that which pleases."

But there is another aspect to art, and that ... is the sublime.

Like the mushroom cloud of the atom bomb, or the vastness of space as project to us by satellite ... the greatness of the experience goes beyond your ethical and aesthetic judgment, cutting you free from the binding ego of yourself.

With the diminish-ment of your ego, the less there is of you, the more you see the sublime.'

"Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute as alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

"English's versatile language, like mine and hers, is strangely hobbled by having the one word, love, stand for such a multiplicity of feelings."

"It's true that Seldenian women, and men as well, are better schooled than those of us from normal planets, in the techniques and subtleties of sexual expression. Part of 'wholeness,' which I suppose is a weak pun in English. It kept Lo, and not only him, from taking White Hill seriously as an artist: the fact that a Seldenian, to be 'whole,' must necessarily treat art as an everyday activity, usually subordinate to affairs of the heart, of the body. Or at least on the same level, which is the point.
The reality is that it is all one to them. What makes Seldenians so alien is that their need for balance in life dissolves hierarchy; this piece of art is valuable, and so is this orgasm, and so is this crumb of bread. The bread crumb connects to the artwork through the artist's metabolism, which connects to orgasm. Then through a fluid and automatic mixture of logic, metaphor, and rhetoric, the bread crumb links to soil, sunlight, nuclear fusion, the beginning and end of the universe. Any intelligent person can map out chains like that, but to White Hill it was automatic, drilled into her with her first nouns and verbs: Everything is important. Nothing matters. Change the world but stay relaxed."

- from "For White Hill" by Joe Haldeman ('The Year's Best Science Fiction: Thirteenth Annual Edition (c) 1996)

Life's okay, fairly busy with social events for the first week after moving in and now kind of living the hermit life - I went to a cuddle party, caught the tail end of a taco party at The Pink Palace, Brandi came over to hang out a couple of times and Sera has once, a couple of Friday board game nights, went out to DK Sushi (so much fun!), saw Bluetech and Kilowatts downtown at Ace's Lounge last night and bumped into several Burner friends there, and I've spent several days helping friends build up their new dance studio, and there's always WoW. I've re-discovered a love for wood-work and for building structures with my bare hands. Otherwise not much has gone on - I ran over a giant bolt in the road about the cold snap and fixed a bicycle tire by myself (well, with over-the-phone guidance from wyndhover) and then a wheel/frame problem that might have gotten solved by whitemage. I got sick after not bundling up well enough during the icy weather, but some medicine has taken care of that. I'm slowly adjusting to the lack of free time eaten up by work commute.

I checked out three books from the library last week and have devoured two. I saw one of athene's LJ icons and researched the name and found "Ronia the Robber's Daughter," and I got a bit sniffly on the bus ride home over the ending. I also got "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," and I definitely enjoyed reading the author's style. Even the few grisly scenes didn't both me like reading those normally does. Now I'm on the second book in Robin Hobb's The Farseer Trilogy. Nom om om books!

I definitely no longer have the euphoria shiny feelings I had when I first moved into my flat. It's hard to tell if it's just work stress, the longer commute, or if it's something more to worry about like loneliness or depression. I do know there are a couple of days where I arrived home from work twelve hours after I woke up to go to work. For several reasons my flat location is not as quiet as I had thought, and I don't sleep so well at home, and somehow I moved to the top of a hill again which make cycling a real challenge sometimes, but otherwise I absolutely love the location.

I hope to find more time and renewed interest for several hobbies that seem to have fallen by the wayside. I remembered parts of sign language that I learned before as a Girl Scout.

I suspect I'll feel a lot happier once Valentine's Day has come and gone. Only time will tell.

Well I tried to make it Sunday
but I got so damned depressed
That I set my sights on Monday
and I got myself undressed
I ain't ready for the altar
but I do agree there's times
when the woman sure can be a friend of mine

Well I keep on thinkin' 'bout you
Sister golden hair surprise
And I just can't live without you
Can't you see it in my eyes?
I've been one poor correspondent
I've been too too hard to find
but it doesn't mean
you ain't been on my mind

Will you meet me in the middle
Will you meet me in the air
will you love me just a little
just enough to show you care

Well I tried to fake it
I don't mind sayin'
I just can't make it

whitemage and I moved my belongings into my new flat on Tuesday and myself in on Wednesday while I took a day off to recover from a whirlwind of cold, wet camping at Freezerburn and moving-related stresses. I love my new flat! It doesn't hurt that the previous roommate left behind a microwave and some towels. It has wooden floor laminate and a walk-in closet that I will never have enough stuff to use and built-in shelves and a laundry hamper and a HYUGE bathtub and a gas stove and a bus stop extremely close by.

It's fun trying to find the surprise hot and cold spots on the floor, and I really like that when I come home in the dark and open my front door that I can see two tiny flames under my stove to welcome me home. I've had several neighbors come and introduce themselves to me. The only negative part that I've found so far is the noisy area. My upstairs neighbor does stomp around a lot, although he did warn me about that, but otherwise I live next to a busy main street on one side and a freeway on the perpendicular side, and I think I live close to emergency services because I hear sirens passing several times a day. The first night that I slept I woke up literally every hour because of someone talking around a window or walking by or a car alarm or a siren or or or ... the second night I only woke up three times and the past two nights I've only woken up once, so - moving on up! Eventually I'll learn to sleep through it all, I hope.

Getting used to the extra ninety minutes of daily commute has also taken some time, but I live equidistant from two library branches. I bought "Let the Right One In" from Half Price Books a couple of weeks ago and left it unfinished; I found it too dark and bleak for my taste.

Friday after work I decided to walk to North Lamar instead of going home and ended up calling a visit a friend for about thirty minutes, and then I realized I was in walking distance to Carol L's, so away I went and brain-stormed with her and went to Dan's Hamburgers for food and bumped into another post-ish camp member (Sarah M.), and after I while I got tired and went to Great Hall to watch whitemage finish a game and then went home. Saturday I cycled over to South Congress to my credit union and then north to pick up fancy laundry detergent next to Vulcan Video where I picked up a Miyazaki movie, a documentary about the people behind the MPAA rating system, and "Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy" because I've never seen it and why the hell haven't I ever seen it? Then I went south again to pick up groceries and cycled home and fitzed about until time to go to a friend's pot luck dinner and then a quick side trip to watch wood-working and then home to collapse into bed. I feel surprised that my legs aren't more sore. This will whip me back into shape in no time, grr grr flex etc.

If you grew to be too old and scared to dream
I would whisper the wills of the things you once believed in (until you feel asleep)

"As I look out the window, I see a very beautiful planet that seems very inviting and peaceful. Unfortunately, it is not."

"We are better than this. We must do better."

~ Commander Scott Kelly, astronaut + brother-in-law to Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords

while talking about World of Warcraft characters:
"Look - I'm ADD Cat!"
"Thundercats" *quick head-turn* Huh?"

I've had such a lovely holiday weekend! Katie K. picked me up from my flat yesterday afternoon, and we spent several hours making Christmas dinner from scratch. Katie picked out rosemary and thyme from her back yard garden for the Cornish hens, and Katie let me make the cream corn and the triple-berry pie. Katie's roommate and friends showed up later and enjoyed a glorious feast and then watched blues videos. We finished by watching a John Pinette skit and then "Equilibrium" while she goofed about on Facebook and I leveled up on World of Warcraft before we finally fell asleep. I usually have trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, but I slept like the dead. Now we're up and milling about in the cold and and enjoying a lazy day while listening to chill music. I hear we might go out for yoga later.

I love Katie's house so much. There's a ground level, a half level for the giant living room, and then a second floor. The house's walls have bright, vibrant colors and lots of oil paintings and antiques and soft places to sit. This house is fulled with life and love and lots of animals like ducks, chickens, a dog, a pheasant, a tortoise, and two giant iguanas. The back yard is huge with an aviary and a pool and previously-mentioned garden. I really wish that I could live in a place like this.

I'm happy and full of life and blown away yet again with the love and endless giving and acceptance and genuine goodness of my friends. To have one person like this in my life is amazing - to have so many friends with these qualities - I can only use the inadequate words that I know.